You know you're not in the US when...

Student from the concert at the deaf school

1. You see three goats and a dog eating out of the same dumpster

2. Men are walking down the street holding hands, with their arms around each others shoulders or lounging in the grass posing for pictures

3. Women in beautiful saris are cruising their 2 wheelers down the street with a kid on the back carrying his diorama project

4. People wear ear muffs, hats and sweatshirts in (70 degrees) winter

5. You have to hoard your change because everyone claims they have none and refuse your large bills

6. The only thing sold at the post office is stamps and if you want to mail a package, you have to glue on 50 little pictures of Gandhiji

7. You spend more time washing your feet than your hair

8. You blow your nose and find black polluted boogers

9. The gym isn't open at convenient hours

10. 100,000,000 children and young men ask to take your picture and look devastated when you say no

11. Old men stop their 2 wheelers on the side of the road where you're walking just to ask where you're from and drive away

12. The little pink and purple castle across the street is not a child's playhouse but a temple

13. Most houses don't have ovens

14. Your peripheral vision is clouded with human/animal waste

15. Women are nowhere in sight

16. Children are in school on Saturdays

17. There's a veg restaurant on every block, not a Starbucks

18. Coffee and peanut butter are hard to find

19. Kids eat vegetables from their lunchboxes

20. Girls stare at you for bringing your own tp into the bathroom

21. Jumping on a bus while it's moving is totally normal

22. Someone tells you that you're the first Jew they've ever met

23. Women are smart enough to scope out future inlaws as well as husbands

24. Parcel means "to go" and you have to pay extra

25. Shaking your head from side to side (which doesn't mean "no") can be a whole conversation

26. Enthusiastically responding yes multiple times to your questions doesn't necessarily mean yes

27. You consume more chai than water

28. Scheme does not denote a villain's evil plan (but rather a cell phone plan or health insurance)

29. The hand that feeds you wants you to eat sugar and gain weight

30. Mango is the most popular flavor for everything

31. You have to check your purse at the grocery store

32. There's no waitresses (just waiters)and service is slow...everywhere

33. Even white people stare at white people (usually in disbelief and to guess what country they're from- or maybe that's just me)

34. "Happy Birthday" or "Silent Night" blares from your car as you back up

35. Sidewalks are covered with spit, not gum

36. When you ask for index cards at a store, they hand you a protractor and compass set

And the list goes on and on and on...